I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize