There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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