Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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