peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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