we're blogging at a bar
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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