If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
