: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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