i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
