ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
