In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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