I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
