I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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