in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize