Fuck appropriateness.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
