operation harelip BJ is a go
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
