I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
