Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
