Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize