Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
