what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
