I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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