I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
