I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
