I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
