You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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