She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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