Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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