some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
the liver wants what the liver wants
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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