I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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