C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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