We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
