I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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