Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
