It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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