You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He shit in the fireplace
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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