so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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