What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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