hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
