The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
