That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
