she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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