did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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