Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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