She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
