you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
