Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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