I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
