DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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