She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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