if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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