Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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