Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
