FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
