can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
