u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
tell me about the fingering
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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