will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
