Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
