i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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