my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
