Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
