You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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