i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
