New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
