i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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