yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
