if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
