just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
