Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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