What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
