No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
